Years ago, when I lived in Mississippi, I would occasionally pick figs for an elderly aunt to make jam. Now personally, I couldn’t imagine anyone liking the taste of figs, but what I didn’t know was that Aunt Jean had a secret ingredient or two that she would add to her recipe that could change the mind of the worst skeptic. She would take those figs, add tons of sugar and flavoring and cover up the taste of the figs. It was her famous strawberry jam…go figure. I heard someone say, “Now Honey, that jam is so good; it makes you want to slap your grandpappy!” I never have understood that expression, because who in their right mind would ever want to slap their grandpappy? Needless to say, it was altogether amazing! With all that said, it poses an obvious question, “Why did she even need those figs to begin with?” My guess is that this was one of those old, family recipes that had been passed down from one generation to the next, and years ago you just didn’t waste anything.
Now ladies, besides your great looks and your sweet personalities, what are some other things that have been passed down to you that have just stuck? I have benefited greatly by many wonderful women in my life. They started a legacy of, not only of good cooking, but of hospitality, kindness, charm and grace. But if I am honest with myself, some of these traditions or traits that I inherited seemed more like curses than blessings. I know you can relate. They may have actually been a recipe for disaster for you in your life. It’s as if these wonderful women spent their whole lives digging a hole, only for me to fall into it. Sadly, it takes only one person to start a trend or a tradition that appears impossible to overcome, but is it really?
Picking figs and making jam is a tradition that we should continue and even celebrate, but there are traditions that can keep us in bondage and deserve no glory. One such tradition that I am so familiar with is “living in shame.” It is epidemic. It is one insidious virus that has been around since the “Garden.” No one since that time, when Sin entered our world, has been untouched by shame in some way. It is the product of a fallen world, and living in it has become our “new normal.” We have accepted it and may have allowed it to control our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions.
I have heard some say that a little guilt is good for you; it keeps you on the straight and narrow. But guilt and remorse are two entirely different things. One leads us to shame and one leads us to repentance. Living in shame has become a lifestyle for many of us. An analogy can be made between shame-based living and the kudzu vine that has overwhelmed many parts of the South. When the kudzu was first brought to our country, it was for the purpose of helping control erosion. They thought it was a good thing, but it became a nuisance. Just like kudzu, shame can attempt to block out the light that God’s grace gives to our souls by overtaking our minds with worry, regret and fear. And it can choke out the peace that comes from knowing of our victory in Christ and therefore, rob us of any consistent happiness in this life.
In Genesis 2:25, it says that, “Adam and Eve were naked but felt no shame.” But then the serpent came and deceived them with his lies. Then their eyes were opened and they realized their nakedness. How did they then respond to God when He came looking for them in the Garden? Yes, they sewed fig leaves together to make a covering for their nakedness and then hid from God. As if He didn’t know where they were, right? This covering was a type of apron. “The only problem with an apron is that it doesn’t cover your backside. This type of covering was an “Apron of Shame.” (Her Treasures: A Life Brand New, page 55)
When we are truly desperate, what kinds of things might we try to avoid the consequences of our behavior? Even on this side of the Cross, we are still trying to hide from God and are still choosing to wear aprons to cover our sins. We have become masters of wearing masks to cover up for our shortcomings and our disappointment in ourselves. We think we are not good enough. The good news is that we don’t have to live this way. Jesus died to set us free from Sin, Shame and Death. When he shed his blood at Calvary, it didn’t just cover our sins; it took them away. It was a complete, once for all sacrifice. You are unconditionally loved, completely forgiven, and have been made new. And because of this, you can cast off your “Apron of Shame.” It’s a lie if you think that you deserve to carry around this burden. This is not, I repeat, NOT your “new normal,” if you are a child of God. He exchanged your “Apron of Shame” for a “Robe of Righteousness.” Check out 2 Corinthians 5 and meditate on “Verse 17…you are a new creation, the old is gone; Verse 19…God is not counting your sins against you; Verse 21…He made him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him.”
Have you ever been in this situation? You sit in church and look around at all the beautiful women there and you wonder, “What are their stories? Are they truly happy or are they faking it?" What are their hearts saying? My guess is that no matter who they are or how long they may have been “in Christ” many of them may still be wondering, “Where is that abundant life that Jesus promised me?” To them happiness is elusive, a fairytale, something meant only for the truly holy, you know, for those “good girls” among us.
Maybe, just maybe, the enemy of our souls has captured “Happiness” and either hidden her from us or has locked her away so far into the prison of our minds that we fear that we will never see her again. If you’re honest with yourself, you most certainly have felt this way at some point in your life, if not often.
What if I told you that “Happiness” is not some fairytale princess who has been locked in the dungeon, but she is actually you, a woman who lives in the real world dealing with real issues with real heartbreaks and real joys? Maybe as an act of our will we need to stand up and say, “Enough is enough!” Could it be that it is time to pick up our swords of truth and actually face those “Goliaths” in our mind that toy with our emotions and rob our minds of peace? Yes, it’s time girls. It’s time to remove the blindfolds that have veiled our vision and kept us in darkness concealing who we really are. It’s time that we finally see ourselves not as victims but as victors, victors of a battle that was fought and won for us long ago by the Lover of our Souls.” (Her Treasures: A Life Brand New page 6)
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